This question originally appeared on Quora: What are the skills every 18 year old needs? Answer by Julie Lythcott-Haims, Author of NYT bestseller How to Raise an Adult; former Stanford dean; podcast host. 

All of these skills are things that we develop by letting girl scouts plan trips and travel!

1. An 18-year-old must be able to talk to strangers

Faculty, deans, advisers, landlords, store clerks, human resource managers, coworkers, bank tellers, health care providers, bus drivers, mechanics—in the real world.

The crutch: We teach kids not to talk to strangers instead of teaching the more nuanced skill of how to discern the few bad strangers from the mostly good ones. Thus, kids end up not knowing how to approach strangers—respectfully and with eye contact—for the help, guidance, and direction they will need out in the world.

Girl Scouts – When we let girls “connect” (part of our Discover, Connect and Take Action) with others they are learning how to talk with safe strangers in a controlled environment. When traveling girls will find lots of opportunities to talk to strangers when they ask directions, learn about places they’re visiting, order off a menu, greet bus drivers or volunteers who are running an event. Encourage that! Adults shouldn’t do the asking, let the girls develop that skill.

2. An 18-year-old must be able to find his or her way around

A campus, the town in which her summer internship is located, or the city where he is working or studying abroad.

The crutch: We drive or accompany our children everywhere, even when a bus, their bicycle, or their own feet could get them there; thus, kids don’t know the route for getting from here to there, how to cope with transportation options and snafus, when and how to fill the car with gas, or how to make and execute transportation plans.

Girl Scouts – I love that girls often ride public for the first time as a girl scout troop! They will learn to read a map, help to plan a route, read transit schedules and learn to get around without a car when you visit a new city together. Even if some of your planning is with Google Maps and travel Apps, let the girls learn how to use them and guide your way around town.  Take turns so everyone learns to do it.

3. An 18-year-old must be able to manage his assignments, workload, and deadlines

The crutch: We remind kids when their homework is due and when to do it—sometimes helping them do it, sometimes doing it for them; thus, kids don’t know how to prioritize tasks, manage workload, or meet deadlines, without regular reminders.

Girl Scouts – I like to have each girl in the troop be responsible for researching one part of the trip and have them be the expert on the trip. I know they have a lot of homework and some of them won’t get the work done but hold them accountable. 

4. An 18-year-old must be able to contribute to the running of a house hold

The crutch: We don’t ask them to help much around the house because the checklisted childhood leaves little time in the day for anything aside from academic and extracurricular work; thus, kids don’t know how to look after their own needs, respect the needs of others, or do their fair share for the good of the whole.

Girl Scouts – Even on a trip we have kapers that we are responsible for. A hostel room has sheets that need to be stripped, if you’re camping the tent needs to be put up and down, the food needs to be prepared and cleaned up at each meal. Rotating kapers helps everyone learn all the skills and keeps the work load fair.

5. An 18-year-old must be able to handle interpersonal problems

The crutch: We step in to solve misunderstandings and soothe hurt feelings for them; thus, kids don’t know how to cope with and resolve conflicts without our intervention.

Girl Scouts – Conflicts between girls (and more often between their parents) happen in troops and it’s great to have them sit down face to face and talk before it gets too blown up. Teaching compassion, and empathy is part of what we do in troop meetings. Learning to have a different buddy on each trip is great.

6. An 18-year-old must be able to cope with ups and downs

Courses and workloads, college-level work, competition, tough teachers, bosses, and others.

The crutch: We step in when things get hard, finish the task, extend the deadline, and talk to the adults; thus, kids don’t know that in the normal course of life things won’t always go their way, and that they’ll be okay regardless.

Girl Scouts – Girls don’t get their way all the time. We brainstorm what we want to do and vote or make choices by consensus. This is good. 

7. An 18-year-old must be able to earn and manage money

The crutch: They don’t hold part-time jobs; they receive money from us for what ever they want or need; thus, kids don’t develop a sense of responsibility for completing job tasks, accountability to a boss who doesn’t inherently love them, or an appreciation for the cost of things and how to manage money.

Girl Scouts – troop funds belong to all the girls. We learn to figure out a budget when we travel and then to set goals in the fall program and cookie program and to raise enough money so that everyone can afford to go. We learn that there are fixed expenses on trips (program fees), variable expenses and optional expenses. We learn to balance the budget by eliminating optional expenses (like t-shirts and ice cream), and to make less expensive choices with variable expenses (choosing pizza over lobster or camping over a hotel). They should always have a little of their own money to manage on a trip to use to buy a souvenir.

8. An 18-year-old must be able to take risks

The crutch: We’ve laid out their entire path for them and have avoided all pitfalls or prevented all stumbles for them; thus, kids don’t develop the wise understanding that success comes only after trying and failing and trying again (a.k.a. “grit”) or the thick skin (a.k.a. “resilience”) that comes from coping when things have gone wrong.

Remember: Our kids must be able to do all of these things without resorting to calling a parent on the phone. If they’re calling us to ask how, they do not have the life skill.

Girl Scouts – We’re risk takers! This is one of the reasons we talk so much about “girl planning”. The whole idea of going to a strange place and getting around and meeting new people is “risky”! How great it is that travel gives girls the chance to make mistakes, learn from choices and to be adventurous! From choosing to eat new things and be “adventurous eaters” to being willing to use a squat toilet or to sleep out under the stars, to flipping a coin to go right or left on a walking tour…these are things that take us out of our comfort zone and let us see that we can cope when things go wrong and that we can be resourceful when we don’t have a tool or skill that we need.